Dear Abby: My son let me down when I had cancer and needed him. How can I move past it?

DEAR ABBY:

I have hard feelings for my oldest son. A few years back, I was diagnosed with cancer and needed radiation treatments. The hospital is in my son’s hometown, so I asked him if I could sit in their living room between my two treatments a day for six days. He said he would talk to his wife about it.

I tried to call him the day before my treatments started, but he wouldn’t answer his phone. I had to sit in my car in the cold of winter for six hours between treatments. I can’t seem to get past this. I don’t bring it up to him, but I resent him and his wife for letting me down in my time of need. How can I get over this and let the resentment go? — SAD IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SAD:

Are you and your son and daughter-in-law communicating now? Have they ever explained why they acted the way they did? Did you and your daughter-in-law have some kind of falling out before your diagnosis?

That you were left sitting in a car between cancer treatments on a cold winter days seems unconscionable. That you also “can’t get over it” seems rational to me. This may be something you should discuss with your religious adviser, if you have one. Should you need medical assistance in the future, I hope you have found other resources, because if you reach out in your son’s direction, all you should expect is more silence.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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