Dear Abby: He was treating, but I suggested another restaurant for ethical reasons. Was I rude?

DEAR ABBY:

My father-in-law and I are just cut from different cloth. We are political opposites, although we do get along for the most part. On a family vacation (we were visiting them), we were going out for dinner. My wife and I knew he was going to take us to a restaurant we both have ethical issues with. I handed him a 10% off coupon for a different nearby restaurant and said, “Here’s another option for dinner.” When he responded that he thought we’d go to the first place, I said, “Sorry. I have some moral issues with it and won’t eat there. Is there somewhere else we can go?” He then blew up at me, saying things like, “If you’re not paying, what difference does it make?” and “Since you’re our guest, it’s rude of you to refuse.” My wife agreed that he was out of line. What do you think? Was it rude of us as their guests? Or rude of him as a host to not accommodate us? — NOT GOING THERE IN NEBRASKA

DEAR NOT GOING:

You have a loyal and loving wife. However, a more honest and less biased spouse would have pointed out (privately) that your manners were atrocious. A gracious guest accepts the hospitality offered by their host rather than trying to turn the occasion into a demonstration of cancel culture. You owe your father-in-law an apology.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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