Dear Annie:
I have a gift-giving dilemma. In recent years, we had a falling out with our child’s spouse, and it’s come down to the in-law’s way or no way. As a result, the relationships with our child and grandchildren have also been impacted. Though I love them all dearly, I won’t let the in-law dictate how I live my life.
I’ve continued to send birthday and Christmas money, but there is no acknowledgement of the gifts and, as of late, VERY little contact from our child. It breaks my heart, but I’m trying to let go and let our child decide to initiate further contact because it seems like a one-way effort. While I want them to know they are loved, does it make sense to continue gifting? — To Gift or Not
Dear Gift or Not:
It makes the most sense to do whatever you think will facilitate letting them know that you love them. Sometimes taking the high road is the best road. Remind yourself that you are family and you want them to know they are loved. If your love language is to give gifts, then keep giving gifts — and don’t expect any more gratitude than they have shown in the past. You give for yourself. After all, it feels better to give than to receive.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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