Dear Annie: My brother has a chronic mental illness. For all his life up until two years ago, he lived in the same city as my long-divorced parents, and there he received support from them as well as from community mental health services. Two years ago, he moved to another city, one he has long felt strongly drawn to and that is far from our parents, me and any other family members.
My parents have continued to provide him with financial support, but neither of them can continue doing this, at the rate they have been, for much longer. My father told my brother that he needs to get connected to mental health/life skills services in the new city or my father will gradually decrease the monthly amounts he sends. The main goal is to find a professional who will help my brother manage the money he receives from my parents.
My brother does not seem to remember the mental health and life skills services he’s had in the past. He says that he doesn’t need them now. He is incredibly resistant to any discussion about this.
My father has indeed started decreasing my brother’s monthly stipend. My brother already lives below the poverty level and, if he doesn’t comply with my father’s contingencies, it’s likely that he’ll soon be homeless. My brother has social security benefits and housing assistance, but that alone is not enough to live on. He believes he can’t work. He needs my parents’ stipends for basic necessities.
He is scornful of suggestions we offer regarding budgeting, using local food banks, washing his clothes by hand (his laundry expenses are unusually high) and the like. He does not spend the money my parents send him wisely, and he continually asks for more. We are just hoping that there are services that will help him budget and conserve his money, and that he will use them. We have provided him with all the information we have found about services local to him and have offered to call them with him. He responds with belligerence.
Annie, my…
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