Dear Abby: Even after my surgery, he still does nothing to help me

DEAR ABBY:

I was just released from the hospital, and I suspect my husband is tapping his foot waiting for me to fix him lunch. He isn’t doing or saying anything overt, like “Get up and make me lunch,” but it’s more like he is whining about the options in front of him — peanut butter, frozen leftovers, etc.

I’m on a liquid diet and do not feel well. I may be well enough to get out of the hospital, but I’m far from 100%. My husband hasn’t offered to make me so much as a cup of tea. Instead, on my first morning home, he waited to get up until I had made the coffee and fed the cats. I didn’t feel like getting up to feed the cats and make the coffee, I just knew he wouldn’t get out of bed until I did. Last night, I made my own dinner while he whined that chicken broth and rice just didn’t do it for him. Now he wants lunch.

We’ve been married for 40 years. He has been a good husband, but in retirement he has become selfish and petulant. I’m no longer sure I want to spend the rest of my life fending for myself with a babyman in tow.

Listening to him complain while I’m in pain and feeling weak, I just want to cry. He takes any criticism personally. We’ve always been two strong-willed personalities, but I can’t push back right now — I don’t have the energy. I need him to step up and take care of me, but I’m afraid saying that will bring more hard feelings than help. — SICK OF IT IN TEXAS

DEAR SICK:

The most important thing you can do is focus on your own health and getting stronger. Next would be to open your mouth and tell your lazy, entitled husband EXACTLY what you need and EXPECT from him. That includes him making the coffee, feeding the animals and buying things he would LIKE to have on hand while he makes his lunch — and yours, if you need it. This is what partnership is all about. And if he really isn’t up to it, you need to know so you can plan accordingly.

I am unsure whether you spoiled your husband or he came to the marriage…