DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-wife and I recently stretched to contribute a good deal of money to our daughter’s wedding. Is there any expectation that we should also give her a wedding present?
It never occurred to me, but my ex and I seem to be getting some shade from relatives who keep asking what we gave the happy couple as a gift. (By the way, none of this is coming from our daughter.)
I just say, “We gave them a wedding,” but now I have questions.
GENTLE READER: It is sadly easy to see why otherwise perfectly behaved wedding couples get coerced into greed.
Whether or not you got the couple a present is none of your relatives’ business. So it is not for their sake, but for your impeccably behaved daughter’s, that Miss Manners suggests that if you want to give the couple something, perhaps you or your ex-wife could offer a family heirloom or other sentimental item.
That it will quell the shade from your family is an added advantage — one that the rest of us know they do not deserve.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN
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