Dear Readers:
A number of you wrote in in response to “Tired of Being Scared at Work and at Home,” about the 26-year-old woman who was struggling with how to handle a co-worker she suspects of stalking her. Below are some of your helpful insights.
Dear Annie:
Your answer to “Tired of Being Scared at Work and at Home” didn’t address the possibility that her co-worker may be on the autism spectrum and thus be unaware of the inappropriateness of his actions, such as standing too close and staring. She should contact the company’s HR department, so his behavior can be noted and corrected. He may be a scary creep, but I think it will be easier for her to discuss this with HR if she questions whether he is exhibiting behavior of a neurodivergent condition. Either way, it needs to stop. I do sympathize with her fears. Young women are often the target of unwanted attention. Best wishes to her. — Another Possible Interpretation
Dear Annie:
You gave good advice to “Tired,” but there’s one thing she must do: Tell the man to stop standing so close and to stop staring. She must use her voice, starting a sentence with “I need you to…” or “Stop…” Don’t use the word “please.”
Predators LOVE silent victims! In fact, they test to see how far they can go without the victim protesting. Speaking up SOONER than later is a very good strategy.
Telling her boss and HR is good advice. She needs to start a record of his behavior at work since he’s creating “a hostile work environment.” HR will understand those words.
She can also fix her windows at her own expense and deduct it from the rent (in the U.S.).
Finally, I recommend she call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. It’s not technically DV, but these folks are trained to know what tactics wannabe abusers use, the likelihood his actions will escalate and advice on what to do about it. They’re better experts than the average cop on this topic. Young women shouldn’t have to…
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