DEAR ABBY:
I have known my husband for 10 years. We have been married for four. We love each other very much, but I did something that has caused him to no longer trust me, and he won’t forgive me. I went to a pub while my husband was at a class. I told him I was going to the pub and he was fine with it. We know everybody who works there very well. The problem is, a nice man sat down a seat away from me and we started talking about all kinds of stuff. At the end of the evening, we exchanged phone numbers. He texted me a week later wanting to know if I could meet him for lunch. I said yes — big mistake — but we DIDN’T meet because I realized it would be wrong. My husband saw his text on my phone, and he is upset and angry. He hasn’t spoken to me since. It’s been almost a week. He said he can no longer trust me, and he won’t accept my apologies or forgive me. What can I do? — LOSING LOVE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LOSING:
Although your intentions may have been innocent, for your husband to have found out about the planned lunch the way he did couldn’t have been worse. Had you told him you met someone “nice” and had been invited to lunch, it might not have made him angry. I don’t blame him for feeling he may not be able to trust you. Remind him that you did not GO to that lunch. Tell him you love him and ask what you need to do to earn back that trust. Ask if he would go to counseling with you. However, if you are unable to do that, accept that your marriage is toast. What a shame.
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