Dear Abby: Should I tell my abusive, dying ex that he has a son?

DEAR ABBY:

My ex-husband is dying of cancer. I got pregnant shortly before we divorced. I left him because he physically, psychologically and emotionally abused me. I never told him about his son. In fact, I lied and told him the child was someone else’s. I did it to protect our child.

Now that my ex is dying, I feel guilty. He never had any other children. Should I tell him he has a son? — FEELING GUILTY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FEELING GUILTY:

That’s an interesting question. My first reaction is to let sleeping dogs lie. From your description of your ex-husband, he would have used the child as a pawn to further abuse you. However, you didn’t mention whether your son knows who his father is. If he does, he might want to meet him before he expires. This is something only you can decide.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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