Let’s talk about Staten Island restaurant bathrooms | Pamela’s Food Service Diary

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Like the birds and the bees, we must have this conversation. Everybody goes. Or at least — what goes in must come out. And while not every patron saves it all up for an average restaurant jaunt, the time will come for a routine visit to the most important room in the place — the bathroom.

Indeed, the loo is bellwether to overall cleanliness of an establishment. It’s the solitary place a customer can malinger and rest a gaze on the details — a wall, a corner, the ceiling or floor. If there’s dirt in this very public private area, there’s more stuff in unseen places. Mark my words. And I’ll leave it at that.

But I’d like to point out there are some very clean latrines in the borough — such as The Staaten in West Brighton, Cafe Bella Vita in Dongan Hills and new Kujira Japanese at 307 Nelson Ave., Great Kills. Let’s just say they’re all Number One in the Number Two business. In fact, they’re so spotless I think it puts pressure on the patron not to be piggy in the potty. These eateries deserve your royal flush and solid patronage!

POTTY STORIES

I can even tell you a few bathroom stories from my restaurant days. At American Grill in the early 2000s my late mother-in-law, Joyce, had the task of decorating the two necessary rooms. She took a lot of pride in the floral wallpaper and artwork. And she enjoyed the fruits of her labor: hearing the compliments from customers including one of our most famous — Mayor Bloomberg. He got a kick out of a print above the toilet — a snarling tiger ready to pounce.

Well, sometimes nature calls. Sometimes it roars.

Anyway, folks did like those bathrooms. They’d have an entire room to themselves for a moment — or more.

One Saturday night around Christmas, the restaurant was cranking. A line grew outside the ladies room. Women said they tried the door on the men’s room but it had been…