3 signs you’re gaslighting yourself with ‘toxic gratitude’–and how to overcome it: ‘Trust your instincts and your emotions’

It may seem like a good approach to see the positive in every situation, but you should be cautious that you’re not spewing “toxic gratitude” to yourself and others.

Simply put, toxic gratitude is when you’re implementing self-gaslighting, says Elizabeth Pearson, career coach and author of “Career Confinement: How to Free Yourself, Find Your Guides, and Seize the Fire of Inspired Work.”

“This can look like somebody saying ‘Oh, I’m not quite as happy as I feel like I could be’ maybe in your job or in your relationship, or maybe it’s even where you’re living. But then this voice comes in and says, ‘Nope, just be grateful, everything’s fine,’” Pearson tells CNBC Make It.

Toxic gratitude can keep you in living situations that are negatively affecting you, jobs you’ve overgrown and even relationships that aren’t right for you, she notes.

“Gaslighting is such a hot topic, and I’m like we’ve got to look at ourselves. We are gaslighting ourselves.”

Here are some signs of toxic gratitude, according to Pearson, and ways you can overcome it and validate your needs.

1. You’re getting signs that something isn’t working for you anymore, but keep dismissing your desires.
2. The gratitude that you’re expressing is invalidating your feelings.
3. You’re using gratitude as an excuse to stay in a situation that isn’t serving you. This is likely due to fear that you may not be able to achieve better, Pearson says.

Some internal thoughts about work that are examples of toxic gratitude are:

• “I’m getting paid. A lot of people are out of work right now, so I should just really be happy and grateful that I have a job.”
• “I don’t want to be greedy. I don’t need to negotiate for more money at work.”
• “I should just be grateful that I get to work from home now, so then I don’t need to ask for these other things that I need.”

In romantic relationships, your mind can play even more tricks on you, says Pearson. Toxic gratitude in your personal life can look like:

• “Well, I…