DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been together more than 20 years. Our relationship grew stale over time, and a couple of years ago, she decided to leave me. However, over the few years, even though she has had several lovers, we have started to get close again.
The problem is, I really love her and want her back as my GIRLFRIEND, but she sees this as a casual relationship, which leaves me feeling hurt. For example, she doesn’t see a problem with having a long conversation with another lover while she’s at my house. When she realizes that I’m hurt, she gets exasperated and says she feels like she has to “walk on eggshells” around me. Is it me? Is there a path forward? — STRANGE SITUATION IN FLORIDA
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DEAR STRANGE SITUATION: Your problem is you have allowed yourself to be put in the “friends with benefits” category when what you really want is an exclusive relationship with your ex. IT ISN’T GOING TO HAPPEN. If she’s talking with other men while she’s at your house, it means she’s not interested in how her actions affect you. The path forward is one that’s as far away as you can get from this person because your agendas are polar opposites.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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