Miss Manners: Choosing polite responses to provocative remarks about you

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the appropriate way to respond when someone asks, “What are you doing here?” This often happens when I run into friends, acquaintances or co-workers in the small city we live in.

Do I need their permission to be in their part of town (which is less than 2 miles from my home)?

What about when I’m talking about a cool venture that a friend from a different town is starting, only to hear, “I didn’t know you guys were friends”? Do I have to justify to people how we became friends and explain how often we talk? These remarks never sound curious, but accusatory.

I’m on my last nerve and am about to say something sarcastic to the next person who does this!

GENTLE READER: Do your friends truly think you need their permission to be out and about?

You know them best, but it seems unlikely — which would make a sarcastic retort unprovoked as well as rude. The greatest threat to public civility used to be rudeness, but Miss Manners fears that taking offense when none is intended (or, in this case, given) is catching up.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500

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