Do you tend to go with the flow, prefer cooperation over competition and hesitate to speak up for yourself?
You’re probably high in agreeableness − a personality trait mental health experts say has plenty of upsides when it comes to interpersonal relationships but has challenges when it comes to self-advocacy and dealing with conflict.
“I think of it as being a human golden retriever,” psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. People who are highly agreeable “tend to be pretty friendly. This is a person that if they’re standing in a grocery store line they’ll start talking to other people, and they tend to look for the good in people. The flip side is that sometimes people may take advantage of them.”
The Big Five personality traits
Agreeableness is one of five categories that comprise the Big Five, also known as O.C.E.A.N., a tool mental health professionals use to evaluate someone’s baseline personality. The other four categories are openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion and neuroticism.
Psychologists have heavily researched the Big Five and say it provides a more a accurate, reliable personality description than other tests, such as Myers–Briggs or The Enneagram. The Big Five also remains largely stable throughout someone’s life, meaning highly agreeable people will likely stay that way.
“The Big Five does have data behind it as a valid instrument, so it’s more likely to measure what you are,” Sarkis says. “But all these five factors also have a downside to them.”
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What is agreeableness − and is it why you make less money?
Agreeable people are cooperative, friendly, compassionate and empathic. They can also, unfortunately, be treated like human doormats by disagreeable people, who are competitive, blunt, transactional and antagonistic.
“Agreeable people in relationships tend to want to please others, because they really don’t like conflict, so they will…
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