Dear Abby: ‘Fun Aunt’ messing with kids’ manners

DEAR ABBY:

I have a sister-in-law who constantly one-ups me. Anything I mention, she has to chime in and let everyone present know how much better her trip was, or that she got a better shopping deal, etc.

It has now turned to my grandchildren. For example, at a family dinner, if I correct their table manners, she comes back with a smart comment like, “You can leave your elbows on the table” or “It’s OK to eat that with your fingers.” She’s trying to be the “fun aunt.” Recently I barked right back, asking her not to undermine my comments about my grandkids’ behavior. She did not reply. I do not want to harm our otherwise decent relationship. She has no grandkids of her own yet and occasionally babysits my grandkids. Is there something better I can do? — HAD IT UP TO HERE IN IOWA

DEAR HAD IT:

Talk to your sister-in-law and lay down some ground rules. Tell her that as much as you care about her, there are certain parameters it is important that she understand in her interactions with the grandkids. Explain what they are. If “Fun Auntie” cannot respect the boundaries, she should see them less often. Not enough young people these days are fortunate enough to have parents (and grandparents) who teach them appropriate manners. Kudos to you.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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