The No. 1 trait you need to be more successful than most, says workplace expert: It’s ‘the single most important differentiator’

Confidence really does breed success, according to a workplace and leadership expert.

It’s the key to making “very impactful decisions” in the workplace, even under pressure, says Bonnie Low-Kramen, author of “Staff Matters: People-Focused Solutions for the Ultimate New Workplace.”

The soft skill has helped boost the career of many of today’s successful leaders, Low-Kramen adds, from Apple’s Tim Cook to Warren Buffett.

“Confidence is serious business, and the single most important differentiator in the workplace,” Low-Kramen wrote in her book, which published in February. “It will be the person with high confidence and lower abilities who will get the job over the person with low confidence and higher abilities.”

Building the trait takes time, she adds, but it’s worth the “power feeling” you get afterwards.

Here are three actionable ways to build your confidence, based on Low-Kramen’s book.

For many people, saying “I’m sorry” after certain situations, even those that don’t require an apology, is second nature. But apologizing unnecessarily can backfire, lowering your self-esteem and making others think less of you. 

 This is especially true for women, Low-Kramen wrote.

“Women apologize far too often, and when we do, it indicates lower self-confidence,” she writes. “Replace ‘I’m sorry’ with ‘Thank you.’ Rather than saying ‘I’m sorry, we need to reschedule the appointment,’ say ‘Thank you for working with my schedule.’”

This approach comes off as more assertive, and makes your apologies more impactful when you use them in the right situations.

Successfully getting your message across can also boost your confidence, but it’s hard to do that when you’re rambling or talking too quietly.

Instead, “slow it down, lower the pitch of your voice and turn up the volume” to be taken more seriously, Low-Kramen wrote.

“To speak quickly and too softly at a high pitch sends a message of low confidence. It may communicate that you…