In both your business or personal lives, there will be times when you need to persuade people to do what you want, or to see your side of things.
But it’s easy to go about it the wrong way, and instead of winning people over, you may wind up alienating them.
As language psychology experts, we’ve found ways to be more convincing to other people without irritating or manipulating them. It’s just a matter of saying the right words in the right way at the right time.
1. Use “you” more than “I.”
This is the simplest and most effective strategy. Studies show that people react well to the word “you.”
When you address someone using “you,” you’re personalizing your message. You make it clear that you’re talking directly to them and considering their individual needs, thoughts and interests.
When you let the listener know you care about them, they’ll be more open to listening and agreeing with your persuasion efforts.
2. Use “you” when speaking to large groups.
It’s tempting to be more formal when you’re addressing a group, like giving a speech or writing an email to a list of recipients.
But research has shown that loosening up and using “you” in group settings works to your advantage because it comes across as more casual.
It’s called the “generic you,” and its results are definitely not generic! It makes what you’re saying seem more personal and relatable, which will help you win people over.
3. Include yourself in the picture with “we” and “us.”
“We,” “us” and “our” are inclusive words that show you consider yourself as part of the team. This creates a sense of unity and mutual collaboration.
When you position yourself as a partner to your listeners or readers, they’ll be more receptive to what you’re talking about, since you’re working with them, not preaching to them or ordering them to do something.
4. Refer to the person you’re talking to by name.
People like hearing their own names. It makes them feel like you really see them, and that they’re important to you.
Don’t…
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