American culture pushes people to dream big, stand out, and reach for the stars. That can make living a typical life feel underwhelming, or even like a failure.
Nonsense, says Shirley Hodes, who celebrated her 107th birthday earlier this month at an independent living facility in North Carolina. “Not everyone has their dreams come true,” she tells CNBC Make It. If you want to be happy in life, especially as you age, “you have to look at other things besides dreams.”
That philosophy doesn’t have to feel harsh or defeatist. Instead, it can mean reorienting yourself towards finding joy in small things, in what you can control and in wanting what you already have.
“You have to be content with who you are and what you can expect of yourself. Find things that are satisfying,” Hodes says.
Cultivating this kind of happiness mindset requires effort, Hodes acknowledges. But the work can pay off: Positivity is linked to a longer and healthier life. Here are her top tips for staying happy as you get older.
Think of yourself as fortunate
Hodes is a small, birdlike woman who’s legally blind, legally deaf and moves slowly. But her eyes are bright with curiosity and, thanks to hearing aids, she can hold conversations with other residents of her retirement home. Some of them are 20 years younger than she is, and yet don’t have her energy.
Part of her mindset requires focusing less on what other people have, and more on the aspects of life that she feels grateful for. It keeps her from getting swept up in jealousy or resentment, Hodes says: “You have to evaluate what you have, and how special it is, and how lucky you are.”
Small things delight her on a daily basis: Listening to books on tape, taking careful walks, old movies on TV, a scoop of ice cream after dinner. Most importantly, her family.
She chats on the phone with her one surviving sister, 103-year-old Ruth Sweedler, and with her daughter, who visits several times a week. Pictures of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren beam…
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