Harvard psychologist: 7 things the most passive-aggressive people always do—and the No. 1 way to respond

Disagreeing with one another can help us learn more about ourselves. But it can be frustrating when passive-aggressive behavior is involved.

This is when someone indirectly expresses negative feelings instead of openly addressing what’s bothering them. We’ve all done it, even though it rarely solves anything.

As a Harvard-trained psychologist, I’ve seen how difficult it is for people to navigate interactions when the other person won’t acknowledge their true feelings.

Here are seven things the most passive-aggressive people always do, and how to respond:

This is a prime example of what happens when someone’s nonverbal communication contradicts the message they’re delivering. They’re saying one thing, but it’s clear from their tone of voice, inflection or volume of speech that they’re upset. 

Similar signs: Saying, “I’m not mad!” or “Whatever. It doesn’t bother me.”

A common sign of passive-aggressive behavior is when someone responds to you with an underlying tone of resentment, hostility or general displeasure.

Similar signs: Making a rude comment or joke that is indirectly intended to offend.

Another way people communicate in a passive-aggressive manner is by continuing to have a dialogue with themselves, under their breath, about what they would actually like to tell you about their emotions. 

Similar signs: Making dismissive or aggressive facial expressions at you or talking to someone behind your back, but within earshot of you.

Avoiding touch, for example, whether it’s holding hands or a pat on the shoulder, makes it clear that they’re dissatisfied with you — even if they won’t say it directly to you.

Similar signs: Not making eye contact or brushing off efforts to touch and reconnect.

When someone is upset, they may go along with something they don’t want to do, but maintain a bitter attitude through the experience.

Similar signs: Saying,…