DEAR ABBY:
My wife and I are raising our two daughters (6 and 7) alongside my sister and her son (10). My sister and her baby daddy separated before their child’s birth because he was physically and emotionally abusive. However, the law allows him to still be in the boy’s life.
I love my sister and my nephew, which is why we are raising our families as a village. The problem is, we are seeing similar characteristics in my nephew’s behavior toward our daughters. He’s manipulative and a little “overly familiar” toward my eldest daughter. She looks up to him, and he uses it to get her to do what he wants.
Now my 7-year-old is emotionally abusing and ostracizing my 6-year-old. I’m torn because my gut tells me to move and get my girls away from my nephew, but he, too, is a child, and I want to continue to support him so he can grow into a decent man. However, I am not willing to sacrifice my girls for his potential. What to do? — CAUTIOUS MOM/AUNTIE
DEAR MOM/AUNTIE:
Your children must come before your sister’s son. Because your older daughter is now modeling her cousin’s misbehavior and acting out against her little sister, it’s time to discourage that behavior and limit, if not sever, the contact she has with her cousin before it creates lasting damage. You cannot save everyone. It is your duty to protect your daughters from any negative influence.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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