When my son was in kindergarten, his class celebrated Father’s Day with a song written by the teachers. It went a little something like: “Oh, my dad is big and strong!”
This chafed against my better judgment. When I told the head administrator that I felt the song was a stereotypically masculine message to impart to young kids, her response was: “Oh, it’s just a sweet, harmless song.”
But as a father and author of “Better Boys, Better Men,” I’ve spent years studying conversations around gender identity, masculinity and society. I’ve found that there’s one message in particular that many dads are sick of hearing on Father’s Day: “Thanks for being our rock.”
So this year, instead of telling dads how strong and emotionally bulletproof they are, consider saying: “I’m grateful for the time we get to spend together, and I want to know more about how you’re feeling.”
Here’s why it’s so important to encourage emotional vulnerability in fathers:
1. It improves overall well-being.
Dads are often seen as stoic pillars or financial providers of the family. They might not realize it, but because of these societal messages, many of them find validation in fulfilling these expected roles.
But when men consistently show up with an impulse to fix things and “save the day,” they fall into a toxic cycle of people pleasing — and as a result, forget to prioritize their own needs.
This kind of behavior, and the habit of repressing emotions, creates a profound sense of detachment — from themselves and from their loved ones. It’s a major factor behind why so many men experience loneliness.
2. It deepens family bonds.
There are a couple of ways dads can start opening up more with their children.
Share childhood memories or photographs with your children, and talk about how it felt to be you in that moment. This will help them better understand and relate to you.
Another approach is to start a conversation about all the different ways people can show strength, like through honesty,…
Read the full article here
Leave a Reply