DEAR ABBY:
My boyfriend of three years works six days a week with Sundays off. For the last six weeks, my calls have gone unanswered from Saturday evening through Monday morning. He’d provide a lame excuse, apologize for the “missed” calls, and the next weekend, the same thing would happen. Long story short, he was spending time in a drug house on the weekends. He ignored my calls because he didn’t want me to know what he was doing. He says it’s “no big deal,” he isn’t doing it anymore and we should move forward as if this never happened.
My issue is, I no longer trust him or his judgment because I never imagined he’d do anything like this. Since he has, I no longer feel like I know him. What he did was deceitful and extremely selfish. Now he says I’m throwing away our relationship because “he made a mistake.” To me, it isn’t a mistake if you repeat the behavior over and over. He CHOSE to do drugs, hide it and ignore me, and he didn’t care about anything or anyone but himself.
Now I know, and I am not accepting the behavior. I believe he will do it again, so I’m separating myself from him until he can show me he’s no longer doing those things. As for now, we are done. His words are meaningless. I’m not accepting his guilt trip that I’m ending this over nothing. Am I doing the right thing? — TAKING A BREAK IN TEXAS
DEAR TAKING:
Yes! A thousand times yes. Knowing he spent six weekends in a drug house makes me wonder if he was also involved in sexual activities. (Please have yourself tested.) Your boyfriend lied and disrespected you. He likes getting high and enjoys the company of people who break the law. You are doing yourself a HUGE favor by getting rid of him. Make it permanent. Bravo for you.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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