Dear Abby: He wants me to be submissive, but that’s not me

DEAR ABBY:

I’m 42 and my guy friend is 59. He’s a wonderful person and a great provider. I’ve known him for about a year now, but he seems a bit controlling. He wants me around seven days a week and expects me to be this submissive woman that I’m not. I’m very independent. I always earned my way in life with little to no help at all.

I’m not perfect. I admit I can be a little confusing at times. But his constant complaining about how I’m not there confuses me. When I come over and hang out and spend time with him, he pushes me away and says it is my fault. Mind you, I have a 7-year-old daughter. I like him a lot, but he tends to be too much. Should I let it go or try to find some common ground and work things out? — CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONFUSED:

I would vote for the former. Because you have a young daughter to care for, you cannot be at this “wonderful” high-maintenance man’s beck and call 24/7. If you can convey that to him, it may save the relationship. However, if he can’t accept reality, you are better off moving on without him. You need a partner who is prepared to accept you for who you actually are rather than who he wants you to be.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)