Dear Abby: I’m sick of the abuse I get from his mother

DEAR ABBY:

I married a wonderful, thoughtful man 30 years ago. His family accepted me and were very kind, with the exception of his mother. She hardly looked at or talked to me. If she did talk to me, it was about her being too young to be a grandmother (I had three children from a previous marriage; he had never married or had children). She also would regale me with stories about how my husband got in trouble during his youth (he was a good boy, in my opinion).

So now we come to the present. Our two children and I have been gossiped about, treated like servants when we are with her and demeaned when spoken to, and my mother-in-law constantly tries to talk alone with my husband. I’m sure she’s trying to split us apart. Her abuse has separated me from his extended family.

Recently, I told my husband I am no longer visiting her because it has caused too much anxiety and depression. He is not supporting me out of fear of what she might do to him. Please advise, Abby. — SICK OF IT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SICK:

Unless there is money involved, your husband may have been conditioned from childhood to fear his mother. It’s very sad. Maintain a relationship with your husband’s siblings if you can, but stand your ground when it comes to being forced to visit your MIL. I see no reason why you should be obligated to be in the company of anyone who is rude, demanding and abusive of you or your children.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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