Dear Abby: I’ve just learned my friend’s grandson is actually my own. Can I tell him?

DEAR ABBY:

My dear friend “Lana” and her husband both passed away a while back. Recently, my son confided that he and Lana’s daughter had an affair years ago that resulted in a child. We all grew up close and regarded ourselves as related even though we were not. Lana’s daughter married someone and passed the child off as her husband’s. I never noticed how much that young man resembles my son before. I always called him one of my grandsons in an unofficial capacity. He is grown and married now.

Since I learned that he is my biological grandson, I have ached to acknowledge our relationship. But I don’t want to rock the boat and disrupt the family dynamic, let alone break my son’s trust. Should I take this secret to my grave? After all, he already calls me “Nana.” — REAL TRUTH IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR REAL TRUTH:

Do NOTHING without first talking about this with your son. Because of the popularity of DNA testing in recent years, your grandson may find out on his own that the man he was raised to believe is his father is not. This kind of revelation can be devastating to some individuals. The news would be better coming from your son than from you.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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