Dear Abby: Must I choose between my husband and my grandkids?

DEAR ABBY:

My husband has a poor relationship with our son and his wife. They want nothing to do with him and don’t want him around the grandchildren because of how he acts. My husband tells me I should stick up for him and tell them what they’re doing is wrong, and that he would never do or say anything bad in front of the grands.

My son and his wife have made their decision. If I send them a text or visit them, it causes fights in our house because he is not welcome. Now my husband is demanding that I choose: Stand by him and have nothing to do with the kids, or choose the kids and have nothing more to do with him. How fair is it to have to make a choice like that? — TORN IN FLORIDA

DEAR TORN:

Fairness has nothing to do with it. Your husband is trying to blackmail you into running interference for him with your son. It’s time to decide which is more important — having a relationship with your son, his wife and your grandchildren or remaining with your controlling, unpleasant husband. Keep doing what you’re doing and call his bluff, because disengaging from you could be more complicated — and expensive — than your husband realizes.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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