DEAR ABBY:
Five years ago, I was diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). It manifests itself with sudden outbursts of anger when I’m stressed, which is often. I have three sisters, two of whom are bossy and try to take over and control every little thing. I have always had a difficult relationship with one of them. When she stresses me out, I tend to blow up at her easily.
The other day, we were in a stressful situation, and I blew up at her. I later apologized and explained about my anxiety. She replied that it wasn’t my anxiety but that I want to be the boss and don’t want to accept her help with anything. She then proceeded to order me to do certain things the way she wanted them done.
I want to cut ties with her because of how she affects my mental health and sanity. But, after all, she’s my sister, and there are situations in which I will have to be around her. Please advise. — ANXIETY-RIDDEN IN WEST VIRGINIA
DEAR ANXIETY-RIDDEN:
You aren’t going to change your sister. Her compulsion to control is ingrained in her. Avoid her as much as possible. However, if there are situations in which you can’t do that, be polite and keep some distance. Do not argue with her, and remember: Just because someone tells you to do something does not mean you have to do it.
Having been diagnosed with GAD, I hope you realize there are treatments for it — medication and talk therapy. If your condition affects your other relationships, consider talking about it with the medical professional who gave you that diagnosis.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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