Dear Abby: Over-gifting friend has me stressed out

DEAR ABBY:

What’s the best way to deal with an “overgifter”? My friend of 10 years is one, often giving gifts beyond holidays and birthdays. Every time we hang out, she gives me something, either food or small trinkets. I asked her three years ago to tone it down. Two years ago, I sent her a letter saying I value our friendship and, for me, the best gift is quality time. She stopped for a while, but six months ago, she started up again.

Abby, I throw away all her gifts. They are usually stale or expired foodstuffs or trinkets I don’t have the space to store. I’m trying to find a way to make my boundaries clear. But I don’t want to hurt her feelings in the process. — TOO MUCH IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TOO MUCH:

Because your friend may have forgotten, remind her that you do not want her giving these gifts and that the most treasured gift she can give you is time with her. Explain that her continuing to do it is making you UNCOMFORTABLE. Then cross your fingers and hope that this time she gets the message. If she doesn’t, you will have to remind her yet again.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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