Dear Annie:
When I was a young adult out living on my own, I used to get subscriptions to Christian magazines from my very religious aunt every Christmas. I happen to be an atheist and did not appreciate the magazine, nor did I appreciate all the mailing lists that having a subscription to that magazine put me on.
It was very difficult for me to find a way to get out of receiving those subscriptions every year. I immediately would contact the magazine and ask them to take me off their mailing list. I told them, “Do not send me any magazines, and do not share my address with any other businesses.” Nevertheless, I would continue to get some things that I did not want to get. And this would repeat each year, as she always gave the same gift.
Finally, though this was not the best way to deal with it, I persuaded my mother to talk to my aunt and ask her not to do it anymore. Afterward, I received a non-religious magazine subscription, which I also did not want, but at least it was not religious. I always thanked her for “thinking of me” at Christmas, no matter the situation. I was a coward.
It would be good to know how to approach things like that, when you receive something you don’t want or are fundamentally opposed to. — Unwanted Gift
Dear Unwanted Gift:
It sounds like your aunt is more receptive to your atheism than you give her credit for. Instead of calling the magazine every year, you could have saved yourself a whole lot of time by going directly to the source and telling your aunt that you appreciate her thoughtfulness but you are actually not a religious person and don’t get much out of the subscription. A good lesson learned moving forward!
Regarding the new subscription: Receiving gifts that we don’t particularly want is simply a part of the holiday season for most of us. So long as the gift is not offensive to our beliefs — such as the religious magazine — it’s best to simply smile and send them a thank-you note. This is not cowardly but…
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