Dear Annie:
My nephew will be getting married in a couple of months. They are trying to stick to a budget. On their wedding website, there is a “question-and-answer” page with details for the big day. It clearly states that although they love children, it is an adults only event. It also states that plus ones are not invited.
My youngest brother has asked my sister — the mother of the groom — if he could bring his two kids as well as a guest of one of the children. My sister said yes, which understandably upset my nephew. I also hear that a sister of the bride plans to attend, along with uninvited children, because she does not have a babysitter.
How do you think things like this should be handled? I have no children, but I think it is disrespectful to go against the couple’s wishes. I personally think my sister needs to get in touch with my youngest brother and tell him she misspoke. I’d say his daughters are welcome to come visit but not to come to the wedding. What thoughts might you have on the subject? — Hoping for a Respectful Wedding
Dear Hoping:
You are absolutely right that the couple’s wishes are to be respected. I’m not sure why your sister felt she had authority over the guest list, but you should tell her exactly what you told me in this letter. It’s your nephew’s special day, and if his guests cannot follow the rules he so clearly laid out, they shouldn’t attend. Hopefully your sister can reach out to everyone she misinformed and let them know she was mistaken before the news has time to reach the couple and inevitably cause them stress.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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