Dear Annie:
When I was 4 years old, my father went to work one day and my mother’s “friend” came to visit us. We had a nice lunch; her friend showed me how he could make smoke rings with his cigarettes and could pull a quarter out of my ear. He bounced me on his knee and was so much fun. My father was 20 years older than my mother and never played with us. He went to work, came home, changed clothes and went to his club every night to drink and play cards.
After lunch, my mother said everyone had to take a nap. I was in the bedroom with my younger sister and brother, and she and her friend went to my parents’ bedroom to take their nap. When my father came home, I was excited to show him the quarter and to tell him all about the nice day we had. When I got to the part about the naps, he got really angry.
He and my mother were screaming, and my mother was crying, saying that I was a liar. I remember my father’s sister on the phone telling him that he could not afford a divorce because my mother would get all his pay with three kids. He walked out after that but came home a few days later. It was never discussed again. When my father was at work, my mother’s friend would come over with his mother. He and my mother would leave in his car, and his mother would babysit us.
That went on until his mother died when I was eight years old. This man ended up marrying another woman and had a baby. I suspect some of my siblings are from their affair. I never told anyone. Everyone saw my mother as a perfect Catholic wife and mom, especially my brothers and sisters. My mother told everyone that I was a liar. Nobody ever asked her what I lied about. I know she always said that stuff to prepare for if I ever talked about it.
Sometimes I wonder if I should tell her secret. She is gone now and so is everyone from his family. I have held the secret for more than 70 years. I think some will eventually get their DNA tested and wonder why they are related to strangers. This has…
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