Dear Annie:
A few weeks ago, a friend and I had a trip to Costco planned. The night before, I fell in my house and wasn’t sure if I sprained or broke my hand in the wee hours. I couldn’t make up my mind whether I should go to urgent care in the morning or the ER that night. I was in pain, but it wasn’t killing me, so I decided to reevaluate it in the morning. I was hurting enough in the morning to decide to go.
Unbeknownst to me, my friend was irritated with me for that choice. She is a caregiver by trade, and taking me to the urgent care was like working for her without getting paid. I didn’t find out she was irritated with me until the next week. I apologized genuinely and told her how I would do it differently the next time, now knowing how she felt.
I don’t drive due to a visual-spatial disability. When my friend expressed that she had plans for later that afternoon, I offered to take an Uber home from the urgent care. She dropped me off anyway. We still went to Costco. I didn’t know she was irritated with me until I got a curt text the next week.
I tried to explain how I felt. The people who would have taken me to urgent care instead of her both died unexpectedly in a single 24-hour period last October. If she gets hurt, she has a husband who can take her or at least meet her wherever. I don’t have anyone, and it’s a lonely place to be. Her response was to tell me not to compare my suffering to hers. I wasn’t. She said she was past the whole thing and that she was just setting a healthy boundary with me.
I feel like she thinks I am selfish for not waiting until after our planned excursion to find out if my hand was broken or not (based on what she has said). I really like her, but the whole thing is making me see her in a less positive way than before. Thankfully, my hand has a bad sprain, not a break, and it’s still in a brace two and a half weeks later.
Am I wrong for feeling like I am owed an apology? I feel like if she can’t do that, we…
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