Ask Amy: Husband grapples with wife’s desire for parents to move in

Dear Amy: I’m in a pickle.

My wife and I are in our late-20′s. We somehow managed to buy our own house last year and are planning to have a child within the next couple of years or so.

My wife has started heavily advocating for her parents to move in with us.

I would consider this if they were unwell and needing help, but this is not the case.

They are in their late-50′s, healthy, and live about an hour away.

I do NOT get along with my in-laws, due to some issues we’ve had over the last five years. I’m not blaming them entirely for these clashes, but their behavior toward me has been extremely disrespectful. (For instance, after a minor disagreement during an overnight stay, they insisted that I needed to leave their home – but my wife could stay.)

I’m talking about oil meeting water, here. We just don’t mix well.

How should I approach this?

– Loving Husband

Dear Husband: You approach this by emphatically declaring that you will not cohabit with her parents.

Don’t put her folks down. Do say that you and she are forming a household and family together, and it is vital that you not introduce oil into your placid waters.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

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