Dear Amy: My youngest son is planning his wedding. He wants his brother “Randall” to be his best man. My three grandchildren will also be part of the wedding party in some way.
My son’s fiance is wondering if she should invite Randall’s wife to be a part of the wedding party as well, even though she doesn’t want to (no one likes Randall’s wife for various reasons).
My son’s fiance thinks it may be awkward in some way if she doesn’t invite her to be in the wedding party.
I’ve tried to tell her that this is HER wedding, and she shouldn’t feel obligated in any way to make this person part of the wedding party if that’s not what she wants.
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this.
– Mother of the Groom
Dear Mother of the Groom: You are correct. The bride and groom have the right and responsibility to plan and host their wedding according to their preferences.
And yet, weddings are the public celebration of the joining of two families. One way to integrate two families together peacefully is to be deliberately inclusive.
Perhaps this sister-in-law can be assigned a role in the wedding (other than bridesmaid).
(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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