DEAR ABBY: I have been struggling with my estrangement from my brother. He’s the only real family member I have. We were extremely close until three years ago. To my knowledge, I have done nothing wrong. He quit speaking to me after I bought some property he may have been interested in.
We are both in our mid-20s, and he has since gotten married and had two children. Being excluded from his life hurts me deeply. We have to work together daily, and it’s stressful having to encounter him because he goes out of his way to be rude and put me down. Must I accept that this is how our relationship will be forever? — DEJECTED IN ILLINOIS
- READ MORE: Dear Abby: Dad feels excluded in trilingual family
DEAR DEJECTED: If there is one life lesson I have learned, it is that interpersonal problems cannot be solved without communication. Because your brother’s chosen method of dealing with disappointment or conflict is to give the person the silent treatment, you will have to accept it and move on from there.
However, because his behavior extends into the workplace, discuss this with your employer. Your brother appears to be doing his best to create a hostile work environment, and that, my friend, is against the law.
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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend refuses to be intimate with me because he feels it would be unfaithful to his ex-wife. What can I do? — SAD IN OHIO
DEAR SAD: There is nothing you can do. Because you described him as having an “ex-wife,” I will assume your boyfriend is legally divorced. If the reason he gave you for the lack of intimacy is true, then he’s not only physically but emotionally unavailable, and you should move on.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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