DEAR ABBY: I suffered an injury that caused internal bleeding, which then gave me iron deficiency anemia. I was battling its symptoms of depression and anxiety before I was diagnosed. Never having had any mental health struggles in my life, I had no idea what was happening to me. I was happy and calm my whole life until this medical condition changed my behavior considerably.
My wife of 20 years left me. I was diagnosed with the iron deficiency anemia after she had left. After the diagnosis, I was able to stop my blood loss and cure the anemia. Its symptoms went away, and I returned to my normal self.
I was sure my wife and I would reconcile after my diagnosis, but she says I was using the illness as an excuse for my behavior. She doesn’t understand it was the cause. She mistakenly believes I am permanently mentally ill. She doesn’t understand that these symptoms went away once the illness was cured. She says it brought out my true personality, which is not true.
My wife and family are my whole life. I didn’t get this medical condition on purpose. We have a 4-year-old daughter I am a great father to. My wife is throwing away our family and trying to take my daughter away from me because I had a curable illness, which I no longer have. How can I get her to understand what happened and save our family? — SADDEST MAN IN THE WORLD
DEAR SADDEST MAN: You can’t force your wife to reconcile, but it would be beneficial to both of you to consult your physician so he or she can explain the reason for your personality change and assure her the problem is not permanent. If that doesn’t help, then you will have to accept that the marriage is over for the most tragic of reasons and go on with your life. I am so sorry for your predicament.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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