DEAR ABBY: I’m a gentleman who would like to date more than I do. I want to ask a woman in my church choir out for coffee or lunch on a Sunday afternoon. But I get so nervous I get knots in my stomach. I know dating is one of the things I need to leave in God’s hands and have His help in getting over the nerves.
I like my friend in the choir a lot. I think she’s a wonderful and caring person. I want to get to know her better because, even though we’ve said “Hi” and “Bye” and exchanged glances during choir practice on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, I don’t know her heart and what makes her tick. Can you offer some advice? — PAINFULLY SHY IN MISSOURI
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DEAR PAINFULLY SHY: Start treating the woman as you would a friend rather than a love interest. Asking a fellow choir member to join you for coffee afterward or for a lunch could be a healthy, nonthreatening beginning of a relationship. (Notice I didn’t use the word “romance.”) Because you want to get to know her better, summon your courage and let her get to know YOU better. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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