DEAR ABBY: I work from home, so I do not need to get dressed up every day. I wear T-shirts and athletic shorts because I usually coach my sons in after-school sports and want to be comfortable. Every day, my wife complains about my appearance, comparing me to other fathers. She also has no problem yelling about it in front of my kids or her family. This happens often. She says, “People won’t want to do business with you if you dress like that!”
Anytime I see a client, I dress for the occasion. Since she seems to have no problem saying anything about my appearance, can I say something about the weight she has gained over the last couple of years? Since she says stuff like that to me, I think it’s only fair that I should be allowed to say something to her. — COMFORTABLE IN THE EAST
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DEAR COMFORTABLE: Say anything you wish, but before you open your mouth, ask yourself whether it would be helpful or inflame the situation. Many people prefer to dress casually, and sometimes others can be judgmental about it — your wife being only one of them. As strongly as your wife may feel about your choice of attire, she’s wrong to criticize you in front of others, because berating you will not improve the state of your marriage.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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