Dear Annie: American bereavement time baffles overseas observer

Dear Annie: I love reading your column. I was saddened by the letter from “Surprised and Saddened Grandmother,” whose daughter had a miscarriage after 14 weeks — and both mother and grandmother had to fight with their employer for bereavement time. I live in Ireland, and I’m constantly shocked by the lack of compassion, sick leave and annual leave workers receive in the United States. It’s hard for me to get my head around.

My father passed away after a long illness. I had already had periods of absence from work due to stress because he was in and out of hospice. He refused to die, and they called him “the comeback kid.” We can laugh about it now.

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My parents were separated, with my mother being in ill health also. My employer, the National Health Service, couldn’t be more understanding. My sick leave was six months of full pay and six months of half-pay per annum. When my father eventually passed away, I received 10 days of bereavement leave; then I had another two weeks of sick leave with my doctor’s sick line stating “bereavement” as the ailment.

During the period when my general physician prescribed off work, my employer was not allowed to ask when I would return to work or talk about work-related activity but could make contact for a welfare check. Sadly, my mother passed away the following year, and I took six weeks of sick leave, as I was struggling with low mood and lack of sleep and generally couldn’t function well. On both occasions, all my colleagues were kindly given leave to attend the funeral.

I guess I just wish workers in the U.S. were shown more compassion. — Thoughts from Ireland

Dear Ireland: Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with the laws in your country as they affect bereavement and sick leave.

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