Dear Annie: Can’t bear emotional pain anymore — is it hopeless?

Dear Annie: I’ve been in a nursing home since I was 60. I would love to find someone to fall in love with, but I have a problem socializing. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m in a nursing home. I’m depressed and see myself not having much time to live with my several health issues. I can’t walk and I’m wheelchair-bound. I’ve tried spending time with other residents, but they hardly talk to me. I feel like they don’t like me. As a result, I stay in my room except to go to physical therapy.

I’ve tried playing bingo, but the prizes they give are junk, which I don’t want, so I don’t play anymore. The recreation around here is boring, so I don’t really participate. I’m lonely. I don’t have a very high opinion of myself. I’m thinking of going to another nursing home close to my sister, as she tries to come once a week. My son lives in the city, which is about an hour’s drive from me, and comes whenever he can. I have a daughter who lives about eight miles away. I haven’t seen her since late July. We text each other, but she won’t talk to me on the phone. She has a boyfriend she sees. She says she’s always tired and has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It just hurts me that she has time and energy to see her boyfriend but not me. She says she wants to, but she’s either too busy or tired. When I ask her to come, it turns into an argument. I tell my daughter I love and miss her and how much I’d like to see her, to no avail.

I cry a lot and sometimes wish I were dead. I really don’t want to die, but I just can’t bear the emotional pain sometimes. I’m on antidepressants. I don’t see the psychiatrist very often, but I see a psychologist once a week. I tried hanging out at the nurses station like some residents do. Like I said, no one talks to me. I smile at people when I see them and try to appear friendly. I get along well with my roommate, but I need a man to love. A lot of them here are married. There was a man in PT…