Dear Annie: I stayed married to a man for 23 years. He worked for pay for five years out of those 23. He was โself-employedโ most of that time and was incapable of following through on anything. I worked full time, took on all his โself-employment company debt,โ paid off his student loans that were in default and paid our mortgage, which grew to consolidate the debts he was incurring so that I could keep us afloat. He told me if I was a better wife, then he would be a better husband. He told me that I was not worth the bother. He told me that I was selfish and that if I tried to leave that he would take me for โeverything you are worth.โ He had anxiety and depression that he reluctantly had treated and then misused the meds to sleep all day long.
I was 54 when I filed for a divorce, and because I waited so long, I have to pay him alimony for the rest of our lives.
Iโm saying that even with kids, it is not worth staying with him. My life is 180 degrees from where it was; I am thankful every day that I am out of that situation. Drop every excuse that you may give yourself to stay. Go and start a new life. — Freedom
Dear Freedom: Congratulations on your newfound well-deserved freedom.
READ MORE: Dear Annie: Kicking the bar lifestyle before I become an alcoholic
โHow Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?โ is out now! Annie Laneโs second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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