Dear Annie: I cannot believe that I am asking for advice. I was always told that you solve your own problems, but this one, I cannot.
I am going on 59. I have no children and never married. I was engaged a few times to younger men. I was so busy having fun that I didn’t plan for the future. I have no siblings; my brother passed at 41. My own mother left when I was 3. I have my wonderful father, who is 84. He will likely leave this earth, not now, but before I do. I won’t have anyone but myself. I am in a nine-year relationship. His family will forget all about me if he should pass (God forbid!).
I am so angry at myself for having so much fun but never looking at the big picture. All I have is myself and a lot of great memories, but memories won’t be there for me as I age and need company. — From Fun to It’s Done
Dear It’s Done: It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you have the luxury of hindsight, but do be gentle. All of the things you’ve done and decisions you’ve made — good, bad or otherwise — have made you into the person you are today. While there are things you might regret not having done, there are also so many things you have yet to do.
It’s long been said that our friends are the family we choose for ourselves. Spend time with them. Immerse yourself in your community and new activities that pique your interest. Start saying yes to every new opportunity. Volunteer. Pursue new adventures with your father, boyfriend and his family every chance you get. Make new memories. Remember that you still haven’t met all the people you will love (and who will love you) in your lifetime. That is such a beautiful thing.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to
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