Dear Annie: My husband and I are low-income, but he doesn’t want his adult children to know. Sadly, he lost an enormous amount of money about 12 years ago (to bad investments) and is quite embarrassed by it.
We have been married for over 10 years and have been able to sustain our lifestyle by using my savings and what money I brought into the marriage, but his children don’t know this.
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Unfortunately, due to the lack of transparency, his children live under the assumption that I am riding on his coattails and that they will receive an inheritance. I have been sick about this for years now, but my husband is insistent that they not be told that he is dependent on me or about his financial losses. What should I do to regain my sense of self-esteem while also honoring my husband’s wishes? — Low Income and Low Self-Esteem
Dear Low Income and Low Self-Esteem: If your husband does not want to tell his children about his financial losses, then you should respect his choice. So long as he isn’t perpetuating any gossip about you or misleading his children into thinking they have an inheritance, then there’s no need for you to waste your time making assumptions about what his children may or may not think. If you are struggling to communicate with your husband about finances, then the two of you should seek the help of a couples counselor.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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