Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I get along amazingly well, and we have lots of interests that we share. But I do not understand his favoritism to his 40-year-old daughter. She has never lived on her own. She was married but still lived there — with her father — and had two children. She is now divorced but still living at home. She is an alcoholic.
The only thing my boyfriend and I disagree on is how he caters to her. He pays for everything in the house, and she has access to his checking account. She and her two teenage children live the life of luxury. He does the cleaning, dishes, mowing and snow removal all by himself. He doesn’t even eat there; he eats with me at my place. He transports them to places constantly. He never ever says no to them. They say jump, and he says how high!
While he has another daughter who lives in another state, he treats her differently. If she needs help with anything, he complains. She is married and has two children.
I have been dating him for 2 1/2 years, and the only thing we have ever disagreed on was his daughter who lives with him.
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She hasn’t liked me from day one. I am not allowed at his house because she’s in control of him, and he, at age 68, is so afraid of her and doesn’t want to make her upset because she flips out. He walks on eggshells. He changes our schedule to accommodate her, and I feel like I’m his second choice all the time.
Communication is not an option because he keeps his feelings deep inside and won’t talk about them. He has never told me he loves me; he just says if he didn’t care, he wouldn’t still be with me.
I ask him, “Why do you keep living this way?” and his answer is, “I grew up without a father, and I love my daughter and the two grandkids,” who are now 15 and 19. He says they are at an age where they need him because of the way their mother is. I’ve told him he should care more about teaching them responsibility and…
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