Dear Annie: A few weeks back, I had to cancel plans to visit my friend and attend a musical festival in Wisconsin. My employers basically told me that if I went, there wouldn’t be a job for me when I came back. (They were mad I was out for a few weeks because I just had a shoulder replacement.) While I only needed a couple days off for the festival, my job was in jeopardy. I was devastated for a very long time, especially since my best friend “Janice” surprised me with the festival tickets and airfare. No one hurt, cried or felt more guilty over this than me.
Before my shoulder replacement, Janice told me she wanted to visit sometime at the end of the summer. I responded very enthusiastically because it’d give me time to heal and we could do things!
As I was being operated on, Janice texted my daughter, “Savannah,” that she was coming to help out. Savannah and my son both agreed I would not want this but would check with me.
This was one of the first things I had to deal with post-surgery. I immediately said NO. A visit would disturb my healing. I live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. Savannah was already there to help and was sleeping on the floor. I refused to have Janice do the same, and I wouldn’t be able to relax with company. I’d feel as if I’d need to entertain, and I’d get zero rest.
READ MORE: Dear Annie: Siblings expect me to be sole caregiver for mom; I’m ready to split
Savannah relayed that to her. I, too, texted Janice the exact same thing that night. THEN, knowing her plans were to leave the day after my surgery, I texted her at 5 the next morning and, in a very detailed manner, reiterated how detrimental it would be for me to have a visitor, especially one staying for many nights. I didn’t hear back and was relieved to know she would honor my wishes/boundaries.
She texted me that she left anyway and was in Ohio. I asked why she still left after my text, and she said, “I’m more persistent than you and Savannah are stubborn.”…
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