Dear Annie: I’m potentially facing an aggressive and lethal type of cancer (esophageal), for which I’m being biopsied next week. I’ve known about this for just a few weeks. My former pastor and his wife were my friends, though there’s been a noticeable distance in the last year. They helped me through my ex-hubby’s death, as I’d been caregiving for him for years and sharing a home. Then they helped my close friend while she was dying of cancer.
Despite the year of much less contact, I still felt bonded to them and reached out to the pastor to help me with my illness and possible death. I wrote this plea for help on Facebook Messenger, and you can see when a person views a message. He saw it. He chose not to respond, which stunned and hurt me. I just wanted someone who knew me to be there for spiritual guidance in this most challenging time.
I racked my brain for why he and his wife have been distant when we had been tight. The wife was friends with me on Facebook, and I thought about what posts I made that they might take offense to. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! The timeline of single-word responses from her to none at all was directly aligned with my coming out of the closet as a bisexual woman after hiding it until I was 56. While I see why a conservative pastor might have an issue with my sexuality, my heart can’t understand how they could’ve liked me a lot before this announcement and then dropped me like a hot rock after, particularly in a situation like this.
- READ MORE: Dear Annie: I think my son is gay, but why won’t he come out to me?
I confronted the pastor about this revelation, and he didn’t refute it. I’m angry that our congenial relationship has dissolved because I’m finally true to myself. I don’t have time left to harbor resentment, but it’s challenging! I don’t want to be a hater, and I suppose that will keep me from acting like they are. I’m wondering if I should write them a letter to recount the blessings…
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