DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I travel a fair amount to see our family and friends across the U.S. and to see the sights. I am traveling with a girlfriend this spring, and the trip will put us within an hour and a half of my brother-in-law’s home. My husband thinks I should invite his brother and his family to join us for dinner one night. (They do not know my friend.) This is a constant discussion topic with my husband: When is it proper to visit others when you are nearby? He has suggested we travel as far as five hours away from the group/place we are visiting to see other people or to visit distant acquaintances. What is the proper protocol for this? I just want to visit the people we arranged to see, or go to the event we planned to attend, without running all over the state to see family, friends and people we haven’t seen or heard from in decades.
GENTLE READER: The protocol for such visits is to make sure the distant relative will be there when you arrive and wants to see you. Or even knows that you are in the area. But what you really want to know is: How far is too far? To that, Miss Manners is forced to answer with a question of her own: How much do you want to see them? When your husband and you disagree, she has some guidelines. The side trips should not consume a significant portion of the total trip time; trips favored by one party should be balanced by trips favored by the other party — or by decisions to forgo such excursions; and parties who are not on the trip have to accept the traveling party’s decision graciously.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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